people pleasing or self pleasing

Is anyone else reading Untamed by @glennondoyle? There are many, many things I’m taking away from this book, but one of the most important ones is this 👉🏻 “We forgot how to know, when we learned how to please.”

When trying to please someone else, it’s impossible to know what you’re feeling on the inside. Your focus is on making them happy, not on asking yourself what would make YOU happy. Pleasing someone else is looking outside yourself for validation, it’s looking for them to say, “yes you pleased me so you are good and I love you.”

But when we look inside, when we ask ourself for the answers, we can say to OURSELF, “thank you for pleasing me, thank you for seeing me, I love you.”

When we forget to know what we want on the inside, or to even consider ourselves for one minute, we lose ourselves.

This is something I’ve struggled with for a long time. I look outside of myself to see how I’m doing. It’s never worked…and I’ve never felt enough living this way.

BUT…When I look inside myself for validation and love I see it there, plain and bright as day. By honoring myself and trusting my knowing, I feel happy as hell with myself. This is something I’ll continue to practice over and over. This is how we can all find ourselves again. Turn inside, be still, and know. #pleaseyou